Not just yet actually. Its June 23, 2011. The last day of my thirties. Wow...all this hasn't really fucked with me until this very moment. So weird that I will never be 30whatever again. Feels like I should go buy a red convertible or bang a 20somethin tonight. Hmmmmm...Option 2 sounds cheaper...maybe. Tried Option 2 a few times and one time, Option 2 was the most expensive Option 2 in the history of Option 2s. $250,000 - the grand total of child support payments between years 2 1/2 and 18 of my son Jaxon, the most amazing kid on the planet. Sure, Dads are supposed to say that, right? A few days ago was Father's Day:
Jaxon: Happy Father's Day Dad!
Me: Thank you little pete. There would be no "Happy Father's Day" for me if there was no you.
Jaxon: <smugly> I know.
Cocky little shit. Like Dave Chapelle said - 6 years ago, that little dude was in my balls!!! Now, he's cock 'a the walkin me on Father's Day? That's one bad mutha fucka! I think, no I know, that this past Father's Day was the best Father's Day so far. Its funny. I think it takes Dads a little longer to connect, a little longer to "get it". For me, I have zero imagination (unless I'm high) and just couldn't connect with the baby stuff and entertaining this little dude. But, now that Jaxon's 5, I feel like our relationship has just recently started. We can talk, play catch every day, have hip hop Saturday on Saturdays, work on hitting, wrestle, teach him to ride a bike. This is what I always thought being a Dad would be like. At least I hoped. Thank you Ben Juen. Seriously, man, thank you. When I found out this little miracle/accident/too much wine on a Friday night was happening, Ben gave me some poignant advice as I was stuggling with what to do. He said that as hard as it seems it will be in the foreseable future, it can't begin to compare to the joy you will get from the relationship you will build with your son over the next twenty years. True. That.
Anyway, back to Father's Day. I took Jaxon to his first game ever at Wrigley. Cubs vs our beloved Yankees. CC Sabathia vs Randy Wells. The Cubs & Yankees haven't played each other since 2005, before that 2003, and before that the 1938 World Series. They would have met in the 2003 World Series if there were no steve bartman or billy goats. Babe Ruth hit his infamous called shot against the Cubs in the 1932 World Series. And the Interleague Gods set this series on Father's Day Weekend 2011. See, Jaxon was born in New York and has been to every Opening Day of his life at Yankee Stadium. Well, it just so happens that I'm a big Cubs fan, too. Watched them every day on WGN growing up in Oklahoma (Mickey Mantle Country) and this was literally the first time I've had to root against them. It was weird. Really weird. But, easier to do than I thought it would be actually. Like I said, we're Yankee fans and I couldn't help it. Nick Swisher hit a 3 run homer in the top of the 8th to break open a 4-4 tie and I went ballistic. Great moment for Swish (former member of the Chicago White Sox) as he's been struggling all year trying to HIT THE FUCKING BALL AT THE MAJOR LEAGUE LEVEL!!! Oh yea, Father's Day. Sorry. After Swish crushed that one and I went nuts, I looked down at the little timer pete and he was taking pictures with my camera of the people in the stands to our right. And it got me wondering. When will I be able to truly share baseball with my son? When will he "get it"? Ya know...I honestly don't care. I looked down at him and just started laughing. He was in hog ass heaven and I realized that I just love being a Dad. I just loving seeing him truly happy.
Last night of my thirties indeed....
Love it! Still can't believe you're a dad, even though I know you'd be great at it. Happy birthday my friend, peace out to the 30's...!!
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